2000-01-19 12:34:07 Ow. I just got really dizzy. I think there's something wrong with me again. I've been like this before, I'm one of those people who gets fully stressed at the drop of a hat. I know this feeling; I'm going to start having panic attacks again soon. I'm sure of it. I think it's this job. I want to complain about it, but I don't have anyone who will listen. They keep telling me I'll have a review, it'll be any day now, but it keeps not happening, no matter who I email or pester. I thought this would be my dream job when I started. It just sort of fell into my lap a few months ago. They made all kinds of promises about the opportunties I'd have, the work I'd be doing. I don't know if they meant to sell me some snake oil, but that's what I got. The work I'm doing now, it couldn't be farther from where I want to be. And that's just in terms of my corporate life. Where I really want to be is home, sitting at my big black work table, with my big notebook full of blank pages spread out before me, and nothing to do but fill them up with interesting sentences. I like giant, drawing-style notebooks. No lined paper. I like to go in too many different directions, start and end wherever on the page I like. It's so far away right now, and I'm so dizzy. k thank you so much & credits music: |
1. today is nice 3. happy yesterdays 8. thanks for hosting 4. doing other things |
(Proof that I am the only one reading.) |