2000-02-02 15:22:41 this story made for an interesting read this morning. what an excellent first fuck story, my boy came out swinging! mine? eh. mine starts off like it's going to be a great time and then leaves you kind of hollow and sad. here she is. I was just 15, trying hard to grow my hair out and fit in with the metalheads. doing a fair to middling job of it. anyways, one friday night a bunch kids came over to my house, we hung out in the basement, tapping the 'cab for jungle juice. anyways, this girl dawn i guess took a shine to me. she was a year older than me (big plus!) and had a not so good reputation. i didn't know much of anything about her. she was your typical rock slut, lots of denim, short skirts, etc. we hung on out on friday, little bit of kissing, whatever. then we ended up hanging out again the next time, more of the same. then we talk on the phone sunday. i'm thinking this'll turn into a girlfriend type situation, maybe if i'm lucky. SHE says "why don't you come over tomorrow after school and we can fuck on my mom's bed." eep. uh...ok. sure. sounds good. so i'm already in WAY over my head. anyway, an unimportant turn of events the next day, we ended up at MY parent's house. with like SIX of our friends too. suddenly it was like there was some sort of cherry-losing party at my house. very disconcerting. so she leads me into the bedroom at one point, while everyone else is somewhere else in the house, going through the refrigerator, playing guitar, watching tv, whatever. we're taking off our clothes, i'm doing my best to act cool, trying to touch her in the places i think it matters, and i'm not even aroused. it's just going pretty poorly. so anyway, she makes with her hand and eventually i'm flight ready. it's wierd to remember this all, it's kind of like a dream. like i can see myself doing all this, as though i wasn't even in my body at the time. maybe i wasn't. anyways, i get on top of her, fumble a bit, eventually get it in and start swinging away. my first thought, right away, is "holy shit, my arms hurt." i just wouldn't ever have expected that. i'm so genetically inferior, i didn't even have the upper arm strength for procreation. anyways, i don't know how long we went on like that. i have no recollection of having an orgasm. eventually she just said "ok, ok," which kind of woke me up from my dreaming, and then she actually said: "ok, calm down." which was my cue to remove myself from her. i thought to myself: "it's over now? thank GOD." anyways we were sort of laying there, recuperating or something, when one of our friends yells "kevin, your mom's home!" so i'm like HOLY SHIT and i make a run for the bathroom and tell her to get dressed as quick as possible. i run outside the bedroom and they're all laughing. and i'm naked. ha ha, very funny. we get dressed, everyone hangs out for a little while longer. then eventually my mom *did* get home, and everyone had to rush out the back door. i was not supposed to be having people over without her there. i wonder why. anyways, dawn and i made a stab at dating for a few weeks after, but we never had sex again. we broke up after she skipped school one day to stay home and have sex with her previous boyfriend. he and i later became friends, actually. he was a good man. so anyways, dawn and i were all set to break up, no hard feelings, who the fuck cares, but all this he said/she said stuff got in the way and someone told her i was breaking up with her because she was a slut or something. and she *may* have been, but really, come on. no one breaks up with anyone for that reason. let's be real. but it upset her, she couldn't believe i'd say that, and she had her guidance counsellor, or her school pyschologist, or whoever, CALL ME OUT OF CLASS (everyone went "oooooo" when they announced my name over the p.a.) and have a fucking conference with me about letting other people drag our names around the school or something. i have NO idea what the meeting was about, i just nodded my head and hoped it would be over soon. it was fucking wierd. but i definitely never wanted to see her again after that. anyways, but the losing the virginity thing had gone pretty much terribly. i only have the one experience to measure it against, but i'm not sure it could have gone much worse. but still i was so glad and proud of myself. all my friends new i wasn't a virgin anymore, and i was the first one in my close circle to lose it. so it was great at the time. which is irritating. high school boys, it's really so sad about us. it really is. i'm not sure whatever happened to her. she graduated, i heard she moved to rhode island and actually got into a college and was studying computers or something. then a few years later i heard she was back, assistant managing the pizza hut in town. actually one summer, after my freshman year in college i was working at the subway in town and she came in. i was totally certain, but i was pretty sure it was her. i said hi, how are you. she didn't answer. didn't make any indication that she recognized/remembered me. maybe she was just nervous or something. oh well, i'll always remember her. so that's the story. maybe part of it are confusing? but yes, it always was to me, too. k thank you very much & credits music: "i'll meet you here tomorrow, independence day" |
1. today is nice 3. happy yesterdays 8. thanks for hosting 4. doing other things |
(Proof that I am the only one reading.) |