2000-02-16 11:39:30 I had the BEST meeting with my career counsellor this morning. Holy smokes. Basically what I'm learning is that it's not just my job slash career which is making me unhappy, it's also my work environment. Like they're both equal problems for me, and I have to think of them that way. Not just "if i change my job I'll automatically be happier." And actually, my environment is probably the bigger problem at the moment. Just understanding what I hate about it is helping me figure out what new possible jobs might be out there for me to think about. Like now where I work, for instance, there's this kid who brings knives into work, hunting knives, and he keeps them out on his desk and plays with them while he codes. what the fuck is that? and i've asked him not to, and i've complained to everyone that will listen, but still no one seems to want to do anything about it. and it's not that I think something awful is going to happen and he'll snap and kill everyone, but it's just not a great idea to bring weapons into work, like DUH. and also, people talk about how much they like Eminem, which bugs the fuck out of me. Like I want to work among enlightened, educated people, but that people can think this guy, who has lines like "Then I went to Jim Beam, that's when my face grayed Went to gym in eighth grade, raped the women's swim team Don't take me for a joke I'm no comedian" and has songs about physically abusing his wife and having his daughter help him dispose of the body, is funny or cool? that's just N.G. for me. And of COURSE this is America, and we'll all fight and die for Eminem's right to rap about whatever he wants to rap about, but that doesn't mean that we can't be educated about what it means that our culture values someone like him, and that we can't look at it deeper and try to understand why mega-corporate record labels are selling us product like this, very successfully. And also, the exhibit with the goldfish and the blenders in the Trapholt Musuem in denmark. I have coworkers who think that it ISN'T an animal rights issue, and that it's the same as having to take a loved one off life support? (which my family has had to do, and duh squared they are two very different things). God, I just want some evidence of compassion in the people I surround myself with. Denied. And OBVIOUSLY the place where art and ethics intersect has always been a volatile one, subject to lots and lots of debate, and that's how it should be, but I'm learning now that that is What Interests Me, and that I want to be more actively involved in work in that area, and that really, honestly, really, I need to be around people who share my views. Where I work now is not what anyone would call conservative, but it's not liberal enough for me. it's not activist enough for me. And I want to change how people think about our culture & society, I want to MAKE people think about our culture & society, but I can't do it alone, and I'm not sure where to start. And please, I'm not saying that I know all about what's right and wrong and good and just. only that i'm TRYING. i'm really trying to educate myself, and think, and do good things in the world, and I want to be around people like me. That's what I'm working on for next week. And I'm surprised by how polemic my mid-twenties are turning out to be. And I LIKE IT. So to sum up: current work situation = unhealthy for me. Hope for the future = WAY the fuck up. like, WAY. k thank you very much & credits music: |
1. today is nice 3. happy yesterdays 8. thanks for hosting 4. doing other things |
(Proof that I am the only one reading.) |