2009-03-21 7:41 p.m. dear diary. My friends are all jerks. We all live in the same orphanage and we're all too old to be taken out of this country. All that's left to do is wait until the soldiers come through town and recruit us. My older brother left with them last year and told me he was going to be a pilot. But the woman who runs the orphanage, Ms. Anna, says he's probably starving in the forests, making meals out of dirt and bark. He probably looks like a scarecrow. Here is why I hate my friends. They keep telling me that I'm not a human being. Last year, on my birthday, Edward said he was going to tell me a secret as a present, and what he told me was that I was a robot. He said he saw the instruction manual for me in Ms. Anna's office, and I know he broke in there for real, because he was stealing back the deck of cards he has with all the naked women dressed like soldiers, holding guns or standing in front of missiles and airplanes and boats. He told me that I was programmed to think that I was a human and to feel pain, but that I wouldn't ever get any older. All my memories, he told me, were programmed in. I punched him as hard as I could and broke some fingers and if I was a robot, I wouldn't have fingers that heal badly, would I. Fingers that Ms. Anna tried to set while referring to an old book, line drawings of what normal fingers should look like if they have to be held together with sticks and tape to keep them straight. Last week, George told me that I was not a human being. He told me that I was, in fact, an alien. He had proof, he said, in the form of photographs and a treaty with beings from another world that he found in Ms. Anna's office. I know he for sure went in there because he has back his box of explosive ingredients that he got the last time the soldiers came through. Normally he just blows up lizards, but he got it taken away, and now he has it again, so he was really in Ms. Anna's office and could have seen anything. I punched him as hard as I could and he fell down and I took him apart atom by atom, until he fell apart to dust, and I inhaled that dust and the spaces behind my ears twitched. There was a roaring in my ears, but it went away, and I figure that if it went away then I must be human. And I must be ready to eat dirt and follow my brother the soldier and when the soldiers come by again, I will go with them and study what they do because none of this will last forever. I have to take good notes. |
1. today is nice 3. happy yesterdays 8. thanks for hosting 4. doing other things |
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