2003-09-19 10:25 p.m. Here are some of the things I did while I waited and waited for you to arrive. I tried to imagine what our first words would be. I listened to all the fragments of songs in my head and realized that I hate all the songs there. I tried to alphabetize them but couldn't remember half the names. Just the tiniest broken pieces, like musical gravel. If my mind was a shoe I would be forced to upturn it and pour the gravel out. I spent time wishing I could pour the gravel out. I talked with the flower vendor and thought about getting you some flowers. I know you hate to travel without fresh flowers. I didn't buy any flowers. I got to know the people who were waiting in the bar. I interviewed one of them while taking notes on a napkin. I lost the napkin. I also got drunk. I looked through all the business cards in my wallet and tossed out the people I was never going to call. One of the cards was for a bagel shop. I had written down the name of the cashier who knew me by name. I wondered what you might be wearing. I wondered, for instance, if you were wearing a watch. In the bar, I met a man selling passports and collected a set for us. Apparently, I'm not half bad at haggling. I make a note to let you know when you show up. I boarded the plane using passport number three, hesitating only a second when the airline personnel address me as Enrique. I convince myself that you don't love me anymore, that they've got you, that you'll be along any minute, that I'm keeping your seat warm with my coat, that you're dead, that they're going to get me too, and that I should leave you a note. If you're reading this, you talked to the flower vendor. Ask her for lilacs. You'll find four or five passports you can use. If you're not reading this, then I don't know why I'm writing it. I hope the weather is nice wherever I'm going and wherever you are. |
1. today is nice 3. happy yesterdays 8. thanks for hosting 4. doing other things |
(Proof that I am the only one reading.) |