2002-05-23 2:35 p.m. On my desk is a small bag made out of wax paper containing four toothpicks. A fifth is in my mouth. The bag says the toothpicks are "HOT Cinnamon Flavored Toothpicks" but they're not so dangerous, really. Says small kids could have their lips burned off, though. Kids are wimps. They'd stick a toothpick in their mouth and swell up all funny and start crying just because it's the first time in their life their lips have swelled up grotesquely, not 'cause it hurts that bad. Novelty freaks kids the fuck out. The bottom of the bag gives this command: "LOVE THESE HOT CINNAMON TOOTHPICKS". I wish I could. Perhaps this speaks of some personal failing, but I am only mildly entertained by these toothpicks. One of which is in the gap formed between my front two top teeth and the middle two bottom teeth of my mouth. My lips are tingling a bit, to be fair. Also, at the top, the bag says "NEW 'RECLOSEABLE' BAG". "Recloseable" is in quotes, like "May not actually close, I dunno, but there was a feature request and we live to serve and we hope you LOVE THESE TOOTHPICKS YOU BASTARDS." |
1. today is nice 3. happy yesterdays 8. thanks for hosting 4. doing other things |
(Proof that I am the only one reading.) |