2002-02-05 1:16 p.m. My worthless brother-in-law stopped by today and, thanks to the influence of prescription painkillers, I was happy to see him. He wanted to share the news: He's got a new job. As an ant-eater. He works for Triple-A Exterminators, which is over-hauling its business because of legal troubles. Having ant-eaters on the payroll is not only cheaper than paying for industrial poisons, but there are fewer legal issues. The insurance Triple-A was paying was ridiculous, for one thing, because of a series of incidents involving the blinding of infants. In court, Triple-A decided that instead of admitting their poison was a danger that they'd attempt a "reasonable doubt" defense. Wasn't it possible, they asked the jury, that an exterminator's individual malice might be more to blame? Their employees did not appreciate the gambit and it didn't even work, anyway. So now my brother-in-law reports to work in a grey body suit, some sort of vacuum-powered face mask, and an appetite. He's looking good, I thought. Losing weight. |
1. today is nice 3. happy yesterdays 8. thanks for hosting 4. doing other things |
(Proof that I am the only one reading.) |