2003-12-07 12:14 a.m. The first angel fell from the sky and they tried to cover it up. Flew the guy out to Rome, put him up in an apartment. Asked him what the deal was and all he could say was, "I got evicted. Thanks for letting me crash here. My last landlord was a dick." Then another fell and this one they caught on camera. Happened to come down during a kite festival, local news crews taking some quick shots for the human interest segment of the nightly news. Instead they got footage of this angel coming down end over end, hitting the ground hard enough to leave a dent. Took out some kites, too. There was footage of a kid crying, holding the broken crossbars of his kite, the plastic shreds dangling. After that, they started falling more often. We got used to them around town. A few would get hit by cars every week, didn't seem to be good at gauging how fast the cars were going when crossing the street. Plastic surgeons put ads in the local papers, claiming they could handle wing removal procedures. I saw an angel once when I was taking a shortcut through an alley, behind SFMOMA. The guy was holding up his baggy pants, needed a belt. No shirt, hair unwashed. Just wasn't adjusting very well. But at least he had the pants. Some of them, man... they just didn't get it. Major denial. With their big wings, they were like pigeons, flapping to get out of people's way, shitting wherever they wanted, naked and filthy. At a club, I hear-- and keep in mind that by this point I was well drunk-- that some kids are buying feathers off some of the angels and smoking them. Apparently some kid in Marin said that he saw God after smoking five feathers. "Oh yeah?" I said. "Yup," says the girl I was talking to, stirring the skinny red straw in her drink, "And God just looked back at him and told him not to do that anymore and to fuck off. So he hasn't done it again." Anyway, then architecture firms stopped planning buildings with skylights. Too expensive to replace if an angel came down through one. One of them, Emoniel, ended up with a one hour slot in prime time, answering questions from the audience. They took phone-in calls, too. He was gorgeous, really good haircut, clean wings. Caller from Georgia asks: "Why are so many of you getting tossed out?" Says: That's a kinda personal question. They'd rather not talk about it. Host says, "Isn't your presence here proof of the existence of our Lord?" Says: I dunno. Well, it's complicated. Let's just say sort of and leave it at that. Guy in the studio audience stands up and says, "If you all were tossed out of Heaven, weren't you supposed to land in Hell?" Emoniel laughed for awhile. A good long while. |
1. today is nice 3. happy yesterdays 8. thanks for hosting 4. doing other things |
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